Category: Satire
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“Marky-Mark” Wahlberg Will Join Jason Aldean and Kid Rock on Tour: “God Brought Us Together”
Mark Wahlberg says the Good Lord brought him together with his new friends Jason Aldean and Kid Rock. “We were all at the same premier, and before we knew it, we were just…one,” said Wahlberg. “We knew what we had to do. We had to jam.” And Jam they shall. Wahlberg says he’ll be resurrecting…
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‘Go Woke, Go Broke’: Megan Rapinoe Is Going Bankrupt
In a plot twist that no one saw coming, the world of sports and finance has collided in an unexpected saga involving soccer superstar Megan Rapinoe. News has broken that Rapinoe, known for her outspoken activism and impressive on-field skills, is facing significant financial setbacks due to a failed penalty against Sweden. While the sporting…
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Beyoncé Faces Nearly $10 Billion Loss Following ‘Black National Anthem’ Performance at NFL
In today’s fast-paced world, where social media trends can dictate stock market fluctuations and where a celebrity’s every move is scrutinized, dissected, and often blown out of proportion, we find ourselves examining an astonishing claim: Beyoncé, the global music icon, facing a loss of nearly $10 billion due to her recent performance of the “Black…
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Elon Musk: ‘Bill Gates is Evil, Going To Expose Him Soon’
What could possibly be more thrilling than watching one billionaire throw digital jabs at another? Just when you think the tech industry couldn’t get any more exciting, enter the eccentric CEO of SpaceX and Twitter, Elon Musk, who recently turned the tables on none other than Bill Gates, labelling him as ‘evil’ and promising a…
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Guy Fieri Refuses to Seat Members of “The View” in His Restaurant: “They’re Loud and Divisive”
Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, and Sunny Hostin found out the hard way that they aren’t welcome at Guy Fieri’s “Flavortown” restaurant. After finishing up for the day, the hosts of the sinking ship “The View” stopped by for a bite to eat, only to be sent packing. “Guy was here,” said restaurant Manager Joe Barron,…